Psychic Vampire Ex

The bane of my young adult years, and one of those transformative experiences that taught me the importance of guarding one’s power, was a single individual. This individual—let’s call them Dorian—was as manipulative as they were skilled in the darker arts of magick, cloaking their true intentions in a veil of love and understanding. I won’t tell you their name, their gender, their practice. Only that they were five years older than me. They knew how to play the role of the misunderstood sorcerer, always hinting that they alone, in that dreary little town, truly “got” me, truly “saw” me. I was young, bold, but also lonely as all hell in a town where being “out” as a practitioner of magick could make you a social pariah.

I let myself be pulled into that relationship because, as Dorian was eager to remind me, we were the only two. The only ones who dared to walk in the open with our esoteric pursuits. Sure, I had my spells, my strength, but Dorian wielded a dark charisma—one that fed off my insecurities like a parasite sucking the marrow from the bone.

At the time, I convinced myself I had no other choice. Who else could I turn to? Who else understood the weight of power in that forsaken town? I thought it was destiny. Dorian was quick to re-enforce that belief.

I learned a lot from Dorian’s occult knowledge.

It wasn’t worth it.

Here’s the truth I learned the hard way: No matter how much magick someone practices, how deep their occult knowledge runs, if they drain your energy, if they steal your agency, they aren’t worthy of your time. Love doesn’t manipulate. It doesn’t feed off your light like some insatiable void. True power, true respect, comes when your partner sees your magick as an integral part of you and supports it—even if they don’t practice themselves.

I eventually broke free, shattered the chains of that toxic relationship, and trust me, banishing was needed, both on the physical and metaphysical planes. It was a lesson in empowerment, one I carry with me to this day: Never, never let someone steal your power. If they can only feel strong by making you weak, then they aren’t strong at all. They’re a leech, a thief of energy, masquerading as a partner. And if you find yourself caught in that snare, it’s time to draw the sword and sever the tie.

After Dorian? I found my centre again. Found the strength I’d nearly forgotten. And here’s something important: You don’t need a magick-practicing partner to be respected. My last partner—lovely soul—didn’t dabble in magick at all, but they respected mine. They even admired the discipline of it, although they’d rather have their feet firmly planted on mundane soil. Sometimes the right person doesn’t need to understand every detail of your world to value you for who you are.

That relationship, though, ended too—but in a different way. They had a fantastic job offer in Toronto, a real dream opportunity. And as much as I care for them, I couldn’t do the long-distance thing. Nor did I want to uproot myself. I didn’t fancy the urban GTA life. My home here in the Rockies, this land… it’s sacred to me. It’s where I channel so much of my power. And while some might think it foolish to let a relationship go for that, I know that sometimes, parting is natural. People grow, life moves. It’s okay to let go when the time is right. We’re still friends on Facebook. They’re happy. I’m happy.

So here I am now—single, yes, but not empty. Quite the opposite. Empowered, rebalanced, and fully in my element. I won’t let anyone drain my power again. And neither should you. Hail to sovereignty. Hail to self-respect.

Can you ever be truly alone when spirit walks with you?

Have a question about your relationships? Let A.V. advise you. Comment below!

—A.V. Drakonis

BEHIND ME, GA-BRI-EL